screw unc: the story of how i found jesus through failing at things
hello post numero 3 in one day! i wanted to get all of these out before i forget lol
so this thing is about how my series of failures and my life falling apart led to me reaffirming my faith and getting back on track to a relationship with god. so if you're not a religion person this might not be for you and that's okay but here's this.
i'm gonna give a quick shoutout to kate wartski because she and i talked about god briefly once and i honestly don't remember the specifics of what she said but she made me want to be better and work for this so thank you x1000 to her for inspiring me to change.
anyway so this all started back in january when early action decisions for unc came out. i was sitting in a starbucks doing homework, making small talk with the man sitting next to me about the adorable redheaded girl with a cake pop who was sitting across the room. i got a message from someone that decisions were out, so i facetimed my parents (on two different devices bc someone was on a work trip) and pulled up the letter. lo and behold, i got deferred. i was crushed, naturally. my parents couldn't understand anything i said, so i let them go back to work. then, out of nowhere, this lady came up to me and quietly set a stack of napkins on my table. she asked if i was okay, and i managed to get out that i had just been deferred from my dream school. she told me that it was okay, and that that meant that it just wasn't where i was meant to be. she told me that god had a bigger plan for me and that unc just wasn't part of it. and i didn't want to hear it at the time, but she was right.
so when i'd finally gathered myself enough to drive, i went to her table to thank her before i left. she was sitting next to the sweet old man i'd been talking to earlier, so i thanked them both for being so nice to me and taking time out of their days to help out a stranger, and they affirmed what the lady had said before about it just not being the right place for me and that god has a plan. again, not quite what i wanted to hear at the time, but they were right.
i go back to the starbucks a couple days later, to get some tea and chill for a while, face my fear of that place, you know how it is. and this man is there again. he gets his coffee in the paper cup that starbucks has, and then has a mug that he actually drinks it out of. as i was leaving, his paper cup fell off of his table so i picked it up and recycled it. he thanked me and then paused, looked at me for a second, and then asked "so how are you doing?" and i swear my jaw dropped. not only did he remember me but he also cared enough to check up on me!! it was crazy. so i stayed and talked to him for awhile, told him i was doing a bit better and thanked him for being so nice to me, someone he didn't even know. i couldn't stop thinking about it, even after i'd left.
i avoided that starbucks for a while bc despite the positive interaction, it was still the place where i'd been rejected from my dream school. i let a few weeks pass and finally went back and who would've guessed? the first time i'm back in that starbucks in WEEKS, this man is sitting over by the window. my jaw DROPPED. the only conclusion i could come to was that this was either a major coincidence, or this man was my guardian angel. obviously that sounded better so that's what i've decided to see this whole thing as- this man who i'd never formally met, i didn't even know his name, was my guardian angel who was looking out for me during all of the major life changes that were happening and were to come (bc lord knows there was a lot more coming).
so eventually unc decisions came out and i got rejected (yay) and i obviously cried a lot but it was mostly out of relief because that rejection meant my college decision was made and i was beyond happy that that whole thing was over. it felt so good knowing where i was going and honestly i'm doing so much better here than i ever would have at a school as big as unc. so honestly i took it as a blessing, just like the lady in starbucks told me, that meredith is where i'm meant to be.
so now there's the whole thing of my major changing. and it's not my entire major, just the pre med part. and i posted a whole thing about that the other day, so it's nothing new to the 3 people who read this.
so after i went through that whole mess, i went to visit the people who are like my second parents, who live just up the road. i told them about how my parents were hesitant about me making any immediate decisions, but that this was the most at peace i'd felt about anything in a long time. i know that they want me to challenge myself and not make decisions because things seem ""too hard"", but it was less of feeling like the classes were too hard and more of feeling like going that direction was setting me up for 4 years of being crazy and hating what i was doing. so i told them about all of this and the professor who helped me sort it all out and they started preaching (not literally, that's just what i call it) to me about how god puts people like this in our lives to help us and guide us in the right direction, and i realized (after i mentioned starbucks man) that that's what both of these people were. there was no way this was coincedental; this woman had known me for 10 minutes and gave me advice that fit perfectly and was exactly what i needed. she gave me alternatives that worked out perfectly and just generally knew exactly what to do. that doesn't just happen y'all.
so i know this was a whole mess but the gist is this: i've had several people, specifically these two or three, placed into my life to watch over me and help me realize where i'm meant to go and what i'm meant to do. i've been doubting my faith for a long time but meeting these people and seeing other people my age wholeheartedly give themselves to jesus has made me realize that this is something i really do need and love that i really do have. religion as a whole has kept me grounded for most of my life, but now that i've sort of detached myself from the whole ""i'm a CHRISTIAN"" thing (don't worry, i still consider myself a christian) and have started going more with the ""jesus loves me unconditionally and god has a plan for my life and they have my back even when it doesn't seem like it to me"" thing and that's been really eye-opening and a refreshing change after simply following what i'd been taught my whole life without really thinking about what it means for me individually.
tl;dr: a lot of stuff has happened and now i feel more solid in my faith than i have in years.
i love you all for reading this even if i made you :)) stay tuned for more life updates!
so this thing is about how my series of failures and my life falling apart led to me reaffirming my faith and getting back on track to a relationship with god. so if you're not a religion person this might not be for you and that's okay but here's this.
i'm gonna give a quick shoutout to kate wartski because she and i talked about god briefly once and i honestly don't remember the specifics of what she said but she made me want to be better and work for this so thank you x1000 to her for inspiring me to change.
anyway so this all started back in january when early action decisions for unc came out. i was sitting in a starbucks doing homework, making small talk with the man sitting next to me about the adorable redheaded girl with a cake pop who was sitting across the room. i got a message from someone that decisions were out, so i facetimed my parents (on two different devices bc someone was on a work trip) and pulled up the letter. lo and behold, i got deferred. i was crushed, naturally. my parents couldn't understand anything i said, so i let them go back to work. then, out of nowhere, this lady came up to me and quietly set a stack of napkins on my table. she asked if i was okay, and i managed to get out that i had just been deferred from my dream school. she told me that it was okay, and that that meant that it just wasn't where i was meant to be. she told me that god had a bigger plan for me and that unc just wasn't part of it. and i didn't want to hear it at the time, but she was right.
so when i'd finally gathered myself enough to drive, i went to her table to thank her before i left. she was sitting next to the sweet old man i'd been talking to earlier, so i thanked them both for being so nice to me and taking time out of their days to help out a stranger, and they affirmed what the lady had said before about it just not being the right place for me and that god has a plan. again, not quite what i wanted to hear at the time, but they were right.
i go back to the starbucks a couple days later, to get some tea and chill for a while, face my fear of that place, you know how it is. and this man is there again. he gets his coffee in the paper cup that starbucks has, and then has a mug that he actually drinks it out of. as i was leaving, his paper cup fell off of his table so i picked it up and recycled it. he thanked me and then paused, looked at me for a second, and then asked "so how are you doing?" and i swear my jaw dropped. not only did he remember me but he also cared enough to check up on me!! it was crazy. so i stayed and talked to him for awhile, told him i was doing a bit better and thanked him for being so nice to me, someone he didn't even know. i couldn't stop thinking about it, even after i'd left.
i avoided that starbucks for a while bc despite the positive interaction, it was still the place where i'd been rejected from my dream school. i let a few weeks pass and finally went back and who would've guessed? the first time i'm back in that starbucks in WEEKS, this man is sitting over by the window. my jaw DROPPED. the only conclusion i could come to was that this was either a major coincidence, or this man was my guardian angel. obviously that sounded better so that's what i've decided to see this whole thing as- this man who i'd never formally met, i didn't even know his name, was my guardian angel who was looking out for me during all of the major life changes that were happening and were to come (bc lord knows there was a lot more coming).
so eventually unc decisions came out and i got rejected (yay) and i obviously cried a lot but it was mostly out of relief because that rejection meant my college decision was made and i was beyond happy that that whole thing was over. it felt so good knowing where i was going and honestly i'm doing so much better here than i ever would have at a school as big as unc. so honestly i took it as a blessing, just like the lady in starbucks told me, that meredith is where i'm meant to be.
so now there's the whole thing of my major changing. and it's not my entire major, just the pre med part. and i posted a whole thing about that the other day, so it's nothing new to the 3 people who read this.
so after i went through that whole mess, i went to visit the people who are like my second parents, who live just up the road. i told them about how my parents were hesitant about me making any immediate decisions, but that this was the most at peace i'd felt about anything in a long time. i know that they want me to challenge myself and not make decisions because things seem ""too hard"", but it was less of feeling like the classes were too hard and more of feeling like going that direction was setting me up for 4 years of being crazy and hating what i was doing. so i told them about all of this and the professor who helped me sort it all out and they started preaching (not literally, that's just what i call it) to me about how god puts people like this in our lives to help us and guide us in the right direction, and i realized (after i mentioned starbucks man) that that's what both of these people were. there was no way this was coincedental; this woman had known me for 10 minutes and gave me advice that fit perfectly and was exactly what i needed. she gave me alternatives that worked out perfectly and just generally knew exactly what to do. that doesn't just happen y'all.
so i know this was a whole mess but the gist is this: i've had several people, specifically these two or three, placed into my life to watch over me and help me realize where i'm meant to go and what i'm meant to do. i've been doubting my faith for a long time but meeting these people and seeing other people my age wholeheartedly give themselves to jesus has made me realize that this is something i really do need and love that i really do have. religion as a whole has kept me grounded for most of my life, but now that i've sort of detached myself from the whole ""i'm a CHRISTIAN"" thing (don't worry, i still consider myself a christian) and have started going more with the ""jesus loves me unconditionally and god has a plan for my life and they have my back even when it doesn't seem like it to me"" thing and that's been really eye-opening and a refreshing change after simply following what i'd been taught my whole life without really thinking about what it means for me individually.
tl;dr: a lot of stuff has happened and now i feel more solid in my faith than i have in years.
i love you all for reading this even if i made you :)) stay tuned for more life updates!
Can’t wait for more of the story to unfold ❤️
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